047- Are You Aware of Your Self Talk

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Are you aware of the messaging that comes out of your head? Your self-talk has a huge impact on how you view yourself and what you are willing to do to advance your success.  In this episode, your wingmen discuss this phenomenon and give you tips for controlling negative self talk and improving positive self talk.

All of us have a little voice inside our heads that speaks to us during our waking hours and a few of our sleeping hours as well, in the form of dreams. What does this internal voice say to us? Generally it can be described as a speaker system hooked to a recording device just like a home entertainment system. In the image on the left we can see a typical smart phone with music or podcasts recorded on it. By setting it in a receiver slot the amplifier underneath the phone sends the signals to the speakers on each side. The sound we hear originates from the recording device and we hear the results.

The big question is WHERE did the original recording come from? The answer is we created most of the recordings. We do this with the miracle of our two minds… one is the conscious mind and the other is the sub-conscious mind. This topic can fill many books but we’re going to keep it simple for this document.

The conscious mind pays attention to everything it sees, hears, feels, tastes and smells. The experts tell us this is summed up as “experience.” These experiences are then classified as good, bad, better, worse, right or wrong. These final judgments are then sent to the sub-conscious to be stored for the rest of our lives. It’s these final judgments that are constantly played back to us through that little voice in our heads; the one that never seems to shut up.

In effect, what you are saying to yourself with self-talk is an affirmation. An affirmation is something that is repeated over and over. Affirmations create attitudes and attitudes create actions that create results for us. Thus we create our own futures! If you want to know what your future holds, just examine your present thoughts; they are a preview of coming attractions. In our corporate program called “Mind Focus” we cover this subject in great detail. One of the more interesting components of the program is the idea that for every negative comment you make about a pursuit, activity or action, the more success is pushed away from being a possibility.

There are five areas of our lives that consume most of our mental energy. They include the following: Health, Career, Relationships, Money and Community. If you want to test the idea of an internal voice try thinking about any of these five considerations. Ask yourself the following: Can I achieve my goal of ____________ (fill in the blank) in the next 30 days? Notice how that little voice inside your head will come up with answers in no time! What you’re hearing is a report of all past attempts at reaching your goal. The real issue with self-talk is that we tend to believe what the little voice says. If that voice says “No, you cannot reach your goal in 30 days because ___________  (write down what the voice says), we are held back. Thus we talk ourselves out of success with all the reasons why we can’t achieve it.

While we may have a hard time admitting it, that little voice in our heads tends to be quite negative in most cases. The problem this creates for us is that we have to carry around the negative affirmations on our backs and that depresses our attitude which limits our actions. We literally become what we think about all day long. If we think similar thoughts all week or all month long our future is going to match our thoughts. Now go back to those five life-issues we looked at earlier: Health, Career, Relationships, Money and Community. Most of us have goals in all five of these areas. Would it help if we could somehow change the internal messages that either support us or hold us back? Remember... we become what we think about and we think about our results a lot. Below is a good example of how you can change your thinking by changing your messages.

As we can see, just a slight change of thinking can make all the difference. Here’s a good point to remember … you can know what anyone else knows if you want to. Knowledge is power. Power is results. Results equal a great self-esteem and all the powerful internal messages that go with it. When you hear that the rich get richer there’s a reason for it. They think they can.

Have you noticed that if you turn on your radio when driving you tune in the station you’re listening to and tune out all the others? Self-talk is exactly like your radio. When you’re listening to your own “station” you tune out other messages. It’s hard to feel positive when all you’re listening to is bad news.

In summary, that little voice in our heads that is the self-talk we keep hearing is not that quiet. That voice is as loud as it needs to be to get our attention. There are times when the message saves our lives and other times when the message is just plain depressing. We need to know when to talk back to our internal critic and start changing the radio station now and then. If you have ever had a song “stuck in your head” then you are aware of Self Talk Radio. To get that song out of your head you have to turn on a real radio or think of some other song. Want some proof? Think of that song you heard at Disney Land or Disney World where the kids go through “It’s a Small World After All.” Try to get that song out of your head without help! Or you can try the “Oh, Say, Can You See ….” American National Anthem. Even a rousing “Happy Birthday to You” will drive you nuts after a few minutes.

Quote for this topic: Be careful what you say to you about you. Your sub-conscious will record your conclusion permanently.